Soz Can't think of a name
by kim1983
Summary: when the fairy world, and Foaly, are in danger, artemis, mulch and Holy seek help from an unlikely person. bad summary. plz R


**_A/N: _**Greetings. This is my first Artemis Fowl story so don't kill me if it's bad.

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_**Chapter 1:**_

Another miserable day, working and demeaning herself in that stupid restaurant with her moronic excuse for a manager. Although being talked down to by a bunch of rich snobs was a definite perk to the day. Not. She trudged into the restaurant, two minutes late. _Oh no! The horror. _she thought sarcastically to herself. This wasn't a shared view though, unfortunately.

"TOPPING!" came a yell the moment she set foot into the kitchen. She slumped and slowly dragged herself over to the little office that she knew all to well. From the disgusting scent of BO to the many Chinese takeaway boxes over the floor. Good way to encourage employees. The fact that their own manager orders from another restaurant.

"Two minutes late. Bad move, Steph." one of the kitchen staff, with the rest either sniggering or giving her a pitiful look.

"Yeah, yeah. It'll be you soon." she replied and left with a smug feeling at the look of horror on the girls face. Stephanie entered the office, the stench of days of built up, untouched takeaway remains and BO immediately reaching her nostrils. _Nice. _

"Take a seat, Miss Topping." the restaurant's manager, Mr Pine, told her, putting on a calm charade. Stephanie looked down at the offered chair with a slight look of disgust. It was covered in gum and strange black and brown splodges that she'd rather not identify.

"I'd rather not, sir." she replied. A look of anger passed over his face.

"Now, Topping." he ordered. She rolled her eyes and sat down, wincing slightly as she heard something squelch under her backside.

"Is it clear to your tiny little brain, Topping, why I've called you here?" he asked. _Hypocrite. _she thought to herself. If anyone was guilty of having a tiny brain in this restaurant, it was him.

"Well, my _tiny brain_ tells me that it may be because I was a whole _two minutes late!_ Could that be it?" she said, with a small smirk.

"No attitude today. I am NOT in the mood."

"I'm sorry. Is it your time of the month?"

"You're straying dangerously close to the unemployment road, Topping."

"I'm sorry. I won't be late again, sir." _Two minutes. My goodness! Bring back the death penalty!_

"You better not be. Now get out of my office and get to work." Stephanie nodded and left.

"Pilock." she muttered with a grim face as she left.

"What was that?" came the roar of anger. Stephanie put on her best fake smile and turned round to face her boss.

"Haddock, sir. Today's speciality." she lied and turned round again, the grim expression back again. _Hey, maybe I'll be ordered around by a kid now._ She looked up as another crying bimbo came running in. _Oh great._

"What's up, Jess?" asked one of the chefs.

"It's that mean little kid again." _Wow, I must be psychic._

"Steph, could you go deal with him?" Mr Pine peered round the corner of the office with a raised eyebrow. "I mean, go serve him. You know, the customers always right. All that." she corrected with a nervous laugh. He withdrew his head.

"Yeah, whatever." Stephanie put her long ,brown hair up into a bun, picked up her notepad and slumped into the restaurant. She spotted the table with a teenaged boy sitting back in his chair with his arms folded over his chest and his bodyguard standing behind his chair. She sighed and made her way over to the table.

"How can I help you, sir. Have you actually been given a menu, or has my bimbo of a colleague forgotten to enlighten you with one." she asked, not even bothering to put on a fake smile. She could tell it wouldn't get her far with a boy like this. A ghost of a smile entered his pale face.

"No offer of a children's menu?" he asked, showing the tips of his gleaming white teeth. She shrugged.

"If you wanted a children's menu, you'd ask for one. Anyway, I'm against giving children's menus to people over twelve. It's just creepy after that." The smile returned again.

"Point taken."

"I'll go get you a menu." she said and made her way over to the desk where they were kept. "And they wonder why she doesn't get pass the: 'Are you ready to order?'. Helps if you give the customer a menu first." she muttered as she knelt to fetch the menu.

"Here you go." she said, handing the menu to the boy. Artemis was actually quite impressed. She was doing quite well for a restaurant waitress. She hadn't broken down crying or stammered yet. But there was still the ordering stage to go. "Give me a shout when you're ready to order." she added, and walked over to another table to take the order. For some strange reason (strange to him), Artemis stared after the young waitress. It was only now, after she had left, that he noticed the depth of her brilliant brown eyes (and obviously, the brown…whatever stain on her posterior). _Strange._ he thought to himself as these thoughts raced through his mind. He was woken from his train of thoughts as he heard Butler's concerned voice.

"Is everything alright, Artemis?" he asked, worry etched in his brow.

Artemis thoughts immediately returned to his current company. A frown was still there, and embarrassingly, it was only as he saw Butler's line of focus change to the front of the table that he realised the waitress had returned with a raised eyebrow. Artemis blushed slightly. _What am I doing? A genius such as myself should not allow his mind to wander. Or blush, for that matter. She must think I am an idiot. Why am I even concerned by her thoughts? _A cough from the waitress, her eyebrow still raised, woke him up again. _Well, that's wonderful. Now I look like a **complete** moron. This shouldn't be happening to me? I am Artemis Fowl, boy genius. NO! My mind is beginning to wonder once again. I must think up a snappy remark. Hurry, Fowl. Think._

"Some time today would be good, Master Fowl." she said with a slight smirk. Artemis blushed again. _Darn._

"Yes, yes. Sorry about that. The mind tends to wander at times." he attempted to amend.

_Was that really the best you could come up with?_

"Yeah, boring place, this." she replied, taking pity on him. "Can I take your order?"


End file.
